Personal Childhood Web

Understanding your systems of supports and being able to identify your "go-to" folk is so paramount to my sanity, growth and sustenance.  The folks in my circle have not only birthed me, they have built me, nurtured me and sustain me to this day.  In my circle of five I name my mother, father, 2 best friends from age 5 and my maternal aunt rose and although a very recent addition, my daughter must be included. 

Naturally my mother and father have challenged me to consistently defy the odds and be the best version of me that the world would ever see. My mother was and is not a overly affectionate woman, however as I grew older I learned to value her unique language oaf love and find myself speaking the same love language with folks in my inner circle.  Growing up, I was the oldest and the only girl, therefore my father overindulged me and cared for my physical and emotional well being, while my mother was the disciplinarian and force behind education, my dad was the pillow I layer my head on nightly. My dad has always been a minster in my local church. He's role in both my church and home family has aided to build my moral character and define my personal values and morals.  The best memory I carry of my dad was my 3rd year in college, when he showed up at my dorm room with a dozen red roses to take me out on a "date", he said he wanted to the guys on campus to know I was cared for and that their feeble attempts to woo me would yield no efforts. The unbelievable confidence that both my parents drilled into my mind has created a confident woman who marches to the beat of her own drum master. My father is now my pastor and my mother the "first lady" of my church. Today, I learn so much as I work with my father to develop a Christian education program for our church and now discuss personal conflicts and issues with my mom. 

My best girlfriends Nikki and Kerryann have been my friends as long as I can remember. Our friendships were formed in church and have remained strong. We are the fearless 3 all unique in our own right. Nikki is the relentless go-getter, well disciplined and determined. She has the loudest bark and the smallest bite of the magnificent 3. A few years older than me she has always sought to teach me with her own mistakes. She always reminded me those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Nikki has always been authentic and transparent, a value that we consistently share. Kerryann, is the more conservative of the three. She has been the weight to keep Nikki and I grounded. She has always been the good girl out of the group, always reminding us that there is a right and wrong way in everything. Both girls although unique, they love and appreciated me for me. Their unconditional acceptance of me, flaws and all have been my anchor when I have felt the world has turned it's back on me. Being the baby of the threesome they both have always protected me and sheltered me. 

My maternal aunt Rose was my second mom, growing up. When my mother could not handle my overemotional break downs, my aunt Rose lovingly came in and worked as a mediator between my mom and me. Growing up, aunt rose advocated for me and was my voice when others would not listen to me or believed I could not do it. Attending school in a primarily white community, being a first generation immigrant, educators often overlooked my ability and confused my learning style with an inability to comprehend academic information. From elementary school to this very day, my aunt has always championed for me to go as far in my education as I could possibly go. She is delighted that I have returned to school to continue pursuit of my master’s degree.

Finally, my daughter is and must be include in my circle of five. Although she has not been there at the beginning of my life, she has a great influence in shaping me and loving me. My daughter is my beacon, my strengthen and often time the only reason, I get up and do what must be done.